Birth Order and Personality Formation in Adlerian Theory

By Corina-Denisa Adam

In the theory of psychologist Alfred Adler, the early years of childhood are considered fundamental to personality development, as they shape goals and attitudes that last a lifetime. Adler observed that birth order plays a crucial, though not absolute, role in this complex equation. The position one holds in the family—whether as the firstborn, middle child, youngest, or only child—is a circumstance of life that defines how a child perceives their place in the world. Each position comes with its own challenges and advantages, influencing interactions with parents and siblings, which in turn contribute to the formation of a unique personality. Adlerian theory holds that, while there are certain patterns, each child’s subjective perception of their role within the family is most essential.

The Firstborn

The firstborn initially enjoys a special status, being the only child and receiving all of their parents' attention. This period of "omnipotence" ends abruptly with the birth of a younger sibling, at which point the firstborn feels "dethroned". This experience is defining, creating a desire to regain attention and a sense of control. To cope with this new dynamic, the firstborn often assumes the role of a leader and protector of their younger siblings, becoming responsible and conscientious. They tend to be success-oriented, have high standards, and show a strong need for recognition. While these traits help them excel in their careers and academics, they can also make them vulnerable to stress, as they feel constant pressure to be a perfect example. At the same time, they may develop perfectionistic, conservative, and sometimes elitist tendencies.

The Middle Child

The middle child occupies a unique and often challenging position, caught between the ambitions of the firstborn and the charm of the youngest. According to psychologist Iolanda Mitrofan, this position is where conflicts of identity reach their peak, as the child feels stuck in a gray area, being neither the oldest nor the youngest. Often, the middle child feels that their efforts are not as appreciated as their siblings', which can lead to a sense of injustice and feeling "squeezed" within the family. In response, they develop exceptional social skills, becoming a natural mediator and an excellent negotiator. The middle child is typically sociable and independent, seeking their own identity outside the shadow of their siblings. They are attentive to injustice, do not tolerate it, and often act as an advocate for fairness.

The Youngest and The Only Child

The youngest child is in a privileged position, with a path already "paved" by their older siblings. They do not experience being "dethroned," which often makes them more carefree and relaxed. While they have clear role models, they may feel pressure to catch up to the others. Due to the attention and indulgence they receive, the youngest can be perceived as spoiled, but this position also gives them the freedom to be creative and take risks. They are usually popular, empathetic, and have high self-esteem, managing to stand out with their charm and free spirit.

On the other hand, the only child enjoys the undivided attention of their parents without ever having a rival for their affection. This can lead to precocious maturity, responsibility, and high self-confidence, but also to the development of egocentric tendencies, as they have not learned to share and negotiate with siblings. Although they have no competition within the family, the pressure to please their parents can be immense. Their uniqueness makes them feel special, but it can also be a source of loneliness.

Conclusion

It is essential to remember that, despite these patterns, birth order is not a categorical destiny. Adler himself emphasized that it is only an influence, and the psychological perception of the child is far more relevant. Two children born in the same position can have totally different personalities due to a large age gap, a different family environment, or other external factors. Each individual is unique, and their personality is a complex tapestry woven from genetics, environment, education, and, above all, personal experiences. Through therapy, a person can better understand how their formative years shaped their personality and can choose to redirect their beliefs and behaviors.

References

1. https://clinicaalegria.ro/perspectiva-teoriei-psihologiei-adleriene-ordinea-nasterii-influenteaza-personalitatea-copiilor/

2. Rohrer, J. M., Egloff, B., & Schmukle, S. C. (2015). Examining the effects of birth order on personality. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 

3. Paulhus, D. L., et al. (1999). Birth order effects on personality and achievement within families. Psychological Science. Sulloway, Frank J. (1996). 

4. Born to Rebel: Birth Order, Family Dynamics, and Creative Lives. Medical News Today. (2024). Birth order theory: Personality traits and more. 

5. Psych Central. (2022). Does Birth Order Impact Personality? 

6. Adler, A. (1964). Problems of Neurosis: A Book of Case Histories.